If anyone noticed that I have been missing, this is for you.
Now, please let me relish the moment. For the first time perhaps in my life, I am going around telling people I am busy.
For the first time in my life, I really am!
There was a time not long ago when I hated the idea of uttering the word. This is what I had written and discarded over a year ago…
"You must be busy..." P said.
"No," I said.
"I know you are."
"I know I am not."
"You are trying to be polite."
"Hah...I don't have to be."
"Okay, so how much time do you have?"
"How much time do you need?"
"A couple of hours, at least."
"How do you manage?"
"I don't. Time does – it does not wait for me."
"Then, how does it work?"
"I let Time run. I often wear wrist-watches that have stopped working; the clocks in my room (I have three) show different timings; I believe in Space. I time my space – like, this goes in here between this and that."
"Then how do you manage to be so punctual?"
That does seem strange. It even irritates some people. If they are to fetch me, I ask them the time in their watch and compare to one of mine. If we are to meet at 12.30, by 12.22 I am ready. I walk around for the next couple of minutes, then call for the lift. If it takes too long, I walk down the stairs and then I wait at the gate at around 12.28. I watch the traffic and if the people are coming from the direction where I will have to cross, then as soon as I notice the car coming along, I cross just before they have reached the spot opposite my gate.
"Are we late?" they invariably ask, feeling quite unsure.
I have to assure them that they are indeed on time. Sometimes, they are not. If they are nice people, I let that pass and if they are not...heck, I don't meet people that are not nice.
"How does it work?" asked P.
"It works because you cut out the not-nice things. You learn to prune. I have never been to management school nor read up on the subject. But things seem to fall into place...I know, I know, it sounds so wonderfully self-important to talk about being pre-occupied, being inundated, of trying to juggle things."
"So, you just manage to look chilled out?"
Am not sure, but let me quote from the forward I received:
“Of course I don’t look busy. I did it right the first time.”
- - -
What does this mean? That currently I am busy doing what I am doing because I did not get it right the first time? No. It is only taking longer…
Hang in there. You may borrow my noose.